Football is back. Can you believe it? Last night, sitting in my favorite bar with two of my favorite people, I got to yell “WIDE LEFT” drunkenly at a muted television screen just before Graham Gano made contact with the football and turned my words into reality and an 0-1 start to the season for the Carolina Panthers.
I felt alive.
And now that football is back, so is the Hypothetical SuperContest. It’s our fourth year here! We’ve had our ups, our downs and probably a few to many references to Jon Gruden. For those that have been here from the jump (Hi Rory! Hi Dad!): thanks so much for supporting my degenerate dreams. For those new to this space, welcome to my gambling nightmare.
Well, it’s not necessarily a nightmare. Not every week at least.
Happy belated Thanksgiving! In what has become a bit of a Turkey Day tradition for me, I took a moment to list the things I’m thankful for on the good ole FB.
4-1 last week! Eagles blew it because of course they did. It’s fine. I’m trying not to mess this up for me. Let’s get straight to the picks. I’ll explain why after the jump. Read More
It is 6:21am on Sunday and as I type this sentence and I have not yet slept. This is due to many problems I have; my tendency to procrastinate has led me here, along with my belief that excuses to my readers in any way helps justify the things I’m writing. But we’re here now. Maybe there’s some sort of odd clairvoyance that a man on the edge of consciousness can tap into. We’ll find out. What follows are my sleepy thoughts unfiltered: I will not use backspace to fix any spelling/syntax error from now on, as in the process of writing these three sentences I have yet to get through four consecutive words without a misplaced keystroke. This is the price you pay for sleepy clarity.
Here’s goes nothing.
I was wrong about a lot of things last week.
I was wrong in thinking that Jimmy Clausen would start for the Bears. To be fair, it wasn’t announced that Jay Cutler was ready to go until like ten minutes before kickoff, causing the Raiders to lose their status as road favorites after the line moved five points. I was pretty wrong in this case. Read More
Oh man let’s keep this train rolling.
We kept it up with another 3-2 week against the spread and were two minutes away from the Colts covering to make it a 4-1 day. But there’s still work to be done. My awful showing Week 1 left us in a hole that we’re still digging out of, but we’re just one more positive week away from a winning record and a modicum of respect from the greater Internet gambling public.
Most importantly, my picks have caught up with Chance the Gambler. Read More
All good things must come to an end.
Sadly, the NFL regular season is no different. There are very few things I enjoy more than a full slate of games on an NFL Sunday. If I were asked to pick my 30 favorite calendar days of any given year, I guarantee that all 17 of those Sundays would be included on the list, with Christmas, Thanksgiving, Selection Sunday, and a few random nights where I got lucky with cards or women thrown in to fill out the rest. Read More
We made another video. I hope you enjoy.
In case you’re just here for the picks:
Seahawks (-8) over Cardinals*
Texans* (+5.5) over Ravens
Steelers* (-3) over Chiefs
Vikings (+6.5) over Dolphins*
Browns (+1.5) over Panthers*
Last Week: 0-5
There are only three weeks left of the NFL regular season and I am sad. The 17 NFL regular season Sundays are 17 of my 20 favorite days every year, with Thanksgiving, Selection Sunday, and the first Thursday of March Madness rounding out the set. Read More
Those picks we talked about in this column last week went 4-1. We only lost one! And even that could’ve been avoided if I hadn’t bitten off more than I could chew with the Bears playing on Thanksgiving. We are in the home stretch of the season now. I have only 20 picks left this regular season to prove my worth. I currently stand at 31-34 on the year, much improved from a few weeks ago but still far from a profitable year. While we are too far out of the money to make a run in the SuperContest, we are in striking distance of a winning percentage of 53%, which is what you need in order to make money in Vegas. Read More