The Hypothetical SuperContest 2016 — Week 6

Last week I got to watch the Eagles and Raiders play football at my favorite bar with my favorite people while drinking my favorite drinks. From a life perspective, last Sunday could not have gone better.

Last week I watched as the Eagles, Raiders, Packers, Jets and Dolphins all failed to cover the spread for me. From a gambling perspective, last Sunday could not have gone worse.

Maybe there’s something about duality or some shit to be learned from that. What’s good can be bad, and vice versa, maybe? I don’t know. Read a book. What I do know is I had a dope time watching football despite some awful picks. I am a bit disheartened that the universe started off my 25th year of existence by proudly exclaiming, “Every thought you have is wrong, and you are bad at doing the thing you supposedly love,” but thems the breaks sometimes.

Here’s this week’s card. Home team gets the asterisk.

Niners (+7.5) over Bills*
Eagles (-2.5) over Redskins*
Browns (+7) over Titans*
Seahawks* (-6.5) over Falcons
Raiders* (PK) over Chiefs

These are my picks. There are many like them, but these ones are mine. I was lazy again this week.

FiveThirtyHate

The most heartbreaking aspect of last week’s 0-5 run was it was finally my chance to beat FiveThirtyEight at their own game. They went 1-4! All them nerdy math numbers, and you go 1-4?! Sadly though, I couldn’t put together the two wins necessary to beat them. But I will have my vengeance before the season is out.

Anyway, here’s who the dorks like this week, if you’re more into investing than gambling.

Broncos (-3) over Chargers*
Bengals (+8.5) over Patriots*
Browns (+7) over Titans*
Washington* (+2.5) Eagles
Bills* (-7.5) over Niners

Last Week: 0-5
Overall: 10-15
FiverThirtyHate: 17-8