Old Man Hits Ball Into Cloud, Literally Dances On Its Grave

Courtesy of a large media network owned by a gargoyle

Ancient baseball titan and NLCS MVP Howie Kendrick of the Washington Nationals did a very cool thing during Game 7 of the World Series Wednesday night and then followed it up with a very good, team-wide dugout dance party.

The Houston Astros had held a two-run lead thanks to the handiwork of first baseman Yuli Gurriel and the omnipresent Carlos Correa, as well as the six stellar innings from Zach Greinke.

After Greinke gave up a solo home run to Anthony Rendon and walked Juan Soto to begin the top of the seventh, however, the tide began to turn. Harris entered in relief, but he hardly reached the rubber before the kitchen sink ended up in the swimming pool.

The 36-year-old Kendrick drilled a one out, 0-1 pitch from Houston Astros pitcher Will Harris the other way down the right field line, where it collided with the foul pole and fell back to earth, where it dribbled innocently yet tauntingly to the feet of right fielder George Springer.

Kendrick’s seismic smash would have been just dandy on its own, but he wasn’t done yet. Upon returning to the dugout, his Nats teammates greeted him with open arms and, more strikingly, loose legs.

The World Series has been historically up-and-down, to the point that no home team had yet to win a game going into Game 7. After the Nationals took a 2-0 series lead, the Astros won three straight and were favored to do the damn thing again in the deciding contest.

That didn’t stop Kendrick from trying his decrepit best before presumably ingesting some prune juice and having one of his sons drive him back to the home in time to catch a Blue Bloods rerun.

The Astros would go on to surrender three more runs and completely blow it despite their loaded roster and dynastic aspirations as well as that Sports Illustrated prophecy, allowing the Nationals to win their first World Series title in franchise history and the first Washington professional baseball franchise title since 1924. That all seems secondary to how awesome Howie Kendrick’s dinger and celebration were.

Howie Kendrick celebrating his clutch old man homer is good, and if you happen to be enraged about what it does for the game of baseball, I invite you to watch either C-SPAN programming or the New York Jets, neither of whom is doing anything in particular to affect change of any kind, either way, in their respective arenas.

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