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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world. 

This week: ROAD TRIP! We’re takin’ our Holler Smarts all the way from Appalachia to Norman, Oklahoma for a Big 12 shootout between the Mountaineers and the Sooners. Afterwards, we’re gonna weave our way through some golf courses to Athens, GA for a beautiful afternoon Between the Hedges where you’ll hear the delightful, shared song of the Alabama and Georgia fan bases, “Run the Dang Ball.” Then, we’ll turn the car around and head back towards Waco, Texas in order to watch a masked man attempt to escape from ravenous bears that have been fed nothing but Clive Owen’s liquid cocaineWe will then storm back towards South Carolina for Notre Dame-Clemson where Irish fans attempt to explain sacrilege to a dude wearing orange and purple candy striped overalls. 

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(Via Mike Carter – USAToday Sports)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: Bret Bielema talks a whole lot of mess about your floor plan then learns that his house is on fire. Notre Dame struggled to take the lid off the pickle jar and dropped it in the floor again (it’s okay, grandpa. You just sit on the couch and watch more TV, ok?). Oklahoma beats a 14-year old at Battleship and proceeds to flip over the game board with it’s middle finger.

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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world.

This week: Everything is very dire. There are probably, like, four games worth watching. All of the rest could be potential something or other. Between the hours of 12-6, you should just do something nice with your day and not watch the Battle for the Cy-Hawk Trophy. Also, you might want to save your energy for this nice, young man. 

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(Via Thomas Graning/AP)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: the house has been destroyed. These past few weeks have toppled to a spot where we shared some laughs, tears, and daydreams about Mississippi State in the playoff. The house is now condemned and will hopefully be restored before the beginning of next season. Maybe we can go to your friend’s house to watch the bowl games and TALK ABOUT FORDHAM FOOTBALL.

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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world.

This week: Halloween is on a Friday so it’s more than likely that you might be a little hungover from the night before. Tough cookie, man. We’re playing Run the Jewels 2 until no one else can stand it anymore. At maximum volume. With air guitar. Go get some aspirin and park your rear in a chair. This is going to be a looooooong Saturday.

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(Via Crystal LoGiudice/USA Today Sports)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: we were just about to serve the homemade apple turnovers when LSU barged in the door with a vat of gumbo. After telling people to “hush”, the uninvited house guest in purple and gold shoved heaping portions of the stew in front of the already full house guests. Then, LSU sat on the couch and changed the channel to a terrible movie about Edie Sedgwick called Ciao! Manhattan. It was better than making it through another hour of Christopher Cross.

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(Via ESPN)

The College Football Playoff selection committee will meet for the first time after Week 9. The committee is responsible for selecting a Top 25 each week that reflects the best teams in the country. The Top Four of the 25 picks represent the best four teams in a given week and the picks for the college football playoff should the playoff be held the day after the picks are made. No one at Tuesdays with Horry is on the selection committee but that won’t stop us from having a little fun. 

Through eight weeks of college football action, we head into Week 9 with a much more solidified field of candidates for the first ever playoff. Ole Miss stayed dominant by holding Tennessee to zero rushing yards. Alabama put Texas A&M in a headlock for four quarters. Florida State continues it’s win streak. And the fourth seed pick is a controversy in the making. Here are the picks as we head into Week 9:

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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world.

This week: our football Saturday will be marked by chicken salad finger sandwiches, white wine, and pumpkin spiced anything and everything, as well as some soft rock*. No, not “that” tape of soft rock. CVS Bangers is strictly reserved for weekends unlike this one. We just want to entertain in a polite manner (and cry immensely while trying to pretend this is what we want to do). 

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(Via Jim Lytle/AP PHOTO)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: The furniture is on the roof, a screaming motorcycle crashed through the front door, someone played “Nessun Dorma” while the television was on mute and there may or may not have been a conversation about Tim Tebow. Yes, it’s 2014, and someone talked about Tim Tebow playing in the NFL. This all might seem strange and without regard for order, but it couldn’t be any weirder than Mississippi State earning the designation as the best team in the country. 

Surrealism defies logical explanation and justification. Why is that clock melting? How did that apple get there? Why is Louis C.K’s neighbor throwing a water jug out of the window? There is no explanation needed for these events because there is not meant to be one. You can try to explain Mississippi State’s 2014 season using empirical and anecdotal evidence of player development as well as recruitment evaluation. It doesn’t in any way make up for the fact that you feel like you’re in a college football fever dream punctuated by a septuagenarian ringing a cowbell and speaking in tongues.

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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world.

This week: The Red River Shootout is bringing a fried ball of Takis, Twinkies and bacon along with a burning papier mache cowboy. We don’t care; we’ll take it. Ugh, the SEC East is here again. Baylor says that TCU might report them to the Homeowner’s Association and they are really just okay with that. Hawaii wants to stay up late so we will oblige with beer, snacks and the new Flying Lotus album for this after dark experience to The Other Side of football.

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