Week 6 was pretty good to us. My sleepy picks went 3-2 and would’ve been 4-1 if not for Andrew Luck, King of the Backdoor Cover. This week I am a bit more well-rested. Sure, I was up dancing til 4 am last night in NYC and then drove all the way home to suburban Philadelphia fueled by Red Bull and the power of dance and didn’t get to bed until 6:30 am, but all things considered, my mind is fairly awake. Read More
It is 6:21am on Sunday and as I type this sentence and I have not yet slept. This is due to many problems I have; my tendency to procrastinate has led me here, along with my belief that excuses to my readers in any way helps justify the things I’m writing. But we’re here now. Maybe there’s some sort of odd clairvoyance that a man on the edge of consciousness can tap into. We’ll find out. What follows are my sleepy thoughts unfiltered: I will not use backspace to fix any spelling/syntax error from now on, as in the process of writing these three sentences I have yet to get through four consecutive words without a misplaced keystroke. This is the price you pay for sleepy clarity.
Here’s goes nothing.
I was wrong about a lot of things last week.
I was wrong in thinking that Jimmy Clausen would start for the Bears. To be fair, it wasn’t announced that Jay Cutler was ready to go until like ten minutes before kickoff, causing the Raiders to lose their status as road favorites after the line moved five points. I was pretty wrong in this case. Read More
Oh man let’s keep this train rolling.
We kept it up with another 3-2 week against the spread and were two minutes away from the Colts covering to make it a 4-1 day. But there’s still work to be done. My awful showing Week 1 left us in a hole that we’re still digging out of, but we’re just one more positive week away from a winning record and a modicum of respect from the greater Internet gambling public.
Most importantly, my picks have caught up with Chance the Gambler. Read More
We’re trending upward.
After the dismal performance of my picks Week 1, there was nowhere to go but up last Sunday, and up we went. After the early games my picks were three-and-oh thanks to the Bucs, Steelers, and Patriots taking care of business. For a moment I was hopeful for a perfect week that would plant my picks at 5-5 overall and allow for a fresh start to this year’s Hypothetical SuperContest. But that was not meant to be. My Philadelphia Eagles couldn’t beat a Dez-less Cowboys team that was helmed by Brandon Weedon after Romo went down with a busted collarbone and on Monday Night Football the Colts seemed absolutely mystified by the New York Football Jets. Read More
Well, that was embarrassing.
After touting my skills as a gambling picker to the collective consciousness of the Internet, Sunday proved me a fool to anyone who was paying attention. By all accounts, last Sunday was the worst gambling day of my life. Beyond my 0-5 performance in the Hypothetical SuperContest, I went 3-12 against the spread in my weekly picks league, worse than any week I’ve had in the past two years. Thankfully, as a fairly reformed actual gambler, my monetary losses were kept to a minimum, save for three fairly small bets I had my sister place for me in Vegas during the preseason, (sorry about the losses Russell, I’ll get you back when I can).
We made it.
Another season of professional football has arrived and with it, another year of the The Hypothetical SuperContest. Oh man, it feels good to be back. Last night, the Patriots and Steelers rang in the gambling new year, with Pittsburgh completing an unbelievable backdoor push that did not go unnoticed by the great Al Michaels.
If you’re new here, there’s a good chance that you didn’t understand any parts of that previous sentence other than “Patriots,” “Steelers” and “the great Al Michaels.” No worries mate, you will soon. In the mean time… Read More
We made it. After 17 weeks of Hypothetical Betting on the Hypothetical SuperContest our journey has come to a somber end. Last week I needed to go a perfect 5-0 in order for me to finish the gambling season with a winning record. My picks went 2-3, and my final record against the spread came to a semi-embarrassing 40-45. I did not come close to winning the Hypothetical SuperContest. That honor would go to CH Ballers, who went a remarkable 64-20-1 ATS on the year. That is a ridiculous run, and his $1,500 investment of actual dollars netted him a return of $736,575 and the title of top bettor in the land. Many, many congratulations. I apologize for not writing about his streak sooner, but as my bets turned dismal, it became painful to see the names of those succeeding around me. I’m sure in future years when I am a better bettor I’ll pay more attention to the leaderboard; it was just a down year.
All good things must come to an end.
Sadly, the NFL regular season is no different. There are very few things I enjoy more than a full slate of games on an NFL Sunday. If I were asked to pick my 30 favorite calendar days of any given year, I guarantee that all 17 of those Sundays would be included on the list, with Christmas, Thanksgiving, Selection Sunday, and a few random nights where I got lucky with cards or women thrown in to fill out the rest. Read More
We made another video. I hope you enjoy.
In case you’re just here for the picks:
Seahawks (-8) over Cardinals*
Texans* (+5.5) over Ravens
Steelers* (-3) over Chiefs
Vikings (+6.5) over Dolphins*
Browns (+1.5) over Panthers*
Happy Sundays.
Last Week: 0-5
Overall: 34-41
Tuesdays With Horry 