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Harry Potter and the Talents of South Beach: An Exploration of Quidditch Free Agency

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July 11, 2014
Basketball, Pop Culture
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Harry-Potter-QuidditchTyler Lauletta and Brian Kraker are two dudes who love NBA free agency and Harry Potter. When J.K. Rowling released a new short story about “The Boy Who Lived” at the Quidditch World Cup, these two started emailing back and forth. The following are actual emails exchanged between two supposed adults.

Brian Kraker: Harry Potter is officially on the comeback trail! J.K. Rowling has gone full Michael Jordan and is coming out of retirement (because posting short stories online is the literary equivalent of playing for the Washington Wizards). The story is written from the perspective of notorious gossip columnist Rita Skeeter, who is reporting from the Quidditch World Cup. While the short story focuses more on the personal lives of Rowling’s heroes, I’m way more interested in the competition. Maybe I’m still just caught up in actual World Cup fervor or I’ve spent too much time traversing the wormhole of NBA rumors that are floating around the Twitterverse, but I’m more interested in the fictional competition than Harry Potter’s graying mane.

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Lots of LeBron Takes

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July 10, 2014
Basketball, NBA
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image

Hi LeBron!

Do me a favor and not make a team decision before I post this, okay?

Thanks!
Jordy

I guess The Decision wasn’t fun enough, because LeBron James has the NBA (and pretty much the overall) sports pulse by the throat as he “decides” which team he will sign with. Now, since he is, in fact, a free agent, all of the things that have happened thus far (the alleged agent meetings, the face to face with Pat Riley) are definitely things that he can do.

But who cares about that? He has to go back to Cleveland! He can’t bolt from Miami after being challenged by Riles, can he? I’ve seen a LOT of opinions on what/how/why/when/if this or that will happen. I think I’ve nailed down eight different thoughts on LeBron, and this NBA offseason as a whole.

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3-Pointer: Now that THAT’S over…

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June 19, 2014
3-Pointer, Basketball, NBA
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Courtesy of USA Today

Courtesy of USA Today

As far as measures of retribution are concerned, this NBA Finals went off without a hitch. The Heat lost to the heat before losing to the Spurs. Which one was more impactful will be Twitter fodder for months to come, though the answer is truly (painfully?) obvious. Tim Duncan re-asserted his claim as the best player of his generation, as well as his astute normcore brilliance. Kawhi Leonard has become the Duncan to Duncan’s David Robinson, hopefully. LeBron James has some serious pondering ahead of him. Basketball is fun.

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Kawhi Leonard: The Future of the NBA

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June 14, 2014
Basketball, NBA
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2014 NBA Finals - Game Four

This is Kawhi Leonard’s world. We’re just living in it.

In an NBA Finals that was supposed to be dominated by the Big Three, Tim Duncan’s potential farewell, Gregg Popovich’s in-game interviews and Pat Riley’s slicked back hair, there has been a runaway star in a player who seems to want to be anything but. Kawhi Leonard is the soft-spoken, three-pointer-making, slam-dunking phenom who is leading the San Antonio Spurs against the two-time defending champion Miami Heat.

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The Basketball Tournament: Day Three

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June 8, 2014
Basketball, Sports
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Update One (12:54pm): We made it to the semifinals of The Basketball Tournament. Four teams remain in contention for the grand prize of $500,000. Also at stake today, the potential for home court advantage in the championship game, as a fan vote will decide the location of the final. Can Team Barstool bring the title game north to Bean Town? Or will the Big Apple Ballers take it to the Bronx or Brooklyn? A win by the Fighting Alumni could mean a trip to South Bend. And PeacePlayers International could take us anywhere around the world.

So all of that is on the line. Also, half a million.

http://instagram.com/p/o_YnzuKD5r/

We are five minutes away from tip of the game between Team Barstool and Big Apple Ballers. The arena speakers just started playing “Timber” by Kesha (feat. Pitbull) so the mood for high stakes basketball is officially set. Get ready.

More updates to come.

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The Basketball Tournament: Day Two

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June 7, 2014
Basketball, Sports
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http://instagram.com/p/o8wvJrKDzt/

Update One (12:30pm): The second day of the inaugural Basketball Tournament. After today, only four teams will remain in contention for the $500,000 grand prize. One of the day’s first games was also the biggest nail-biter thus far, as the Big Apple Ballers eeked out a win over HITTAS. The Ballers held the lead for the most of the game and took an eight point cusion into halftime, but a fierce rally from the HITTAS tied it up late. Smush Parker played hero for the Ballers though, nailing a free throw with under ten seconds remaining that would prove the difference in the game. Other contributors to the Ballers winning effort included Russell Robinson, who added 26 points and went 7-13 from beyond the arc, as well as Luke Bonner, who put up 18 points and 6 boards. Read More

The Basketball Tournament: Day One

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June 6, 2014
Basketball, Sports
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TBT

Update One (1:55pm): The Basketball Tournament is upon us. Live in the Gallagher Athletic Center at Philadelphia University, 32 teams of non-professionals have come together to compete for a $500,000 grand prize. Everyone who isn’t currently someone in the NBA seems to be here, from ghosts of NCAA tournaments past, to career pick up ball players, to the man/myth/legend Smush Parker of Kobe bothering fame.

I emailed into those running The Basketball Tournament (#TBTOpen) and acquired press passes for the first time in my life. I’ll be doing my best to live blog the day, but I have no idea how that will turn out. In the mean time, here is the bracket: Read More

3-Pointer: NBA FINALS EDITION

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June 5, 2014
3-Pointer, Basketball, NBA
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LeBronTP

We’ve finally made it. After all the hubbub surrounding the playoffs, the near-upsets of the first round and the predictable Conference Finals matchups, we are finally at the NBA Finals. Vince Carter sent us back a decade in his playoff performances, but he + Dirk ≠ the second round. The Wiz kids did what they could to throw the East into oblivion, but the Pacers stood up when they needed to do so. Try as he might, Kevin Durant is still second-best (in his own conference!). The San Antonio Spurs machine continues to crank out tiki-taka victories. The Miami Heat have the world’s best player and a bunch of pretty decent complements. Lo and behold, it’s a rematch of the 2013 Finals, when we saw the scariest basketball player on the planet for a brief spell.

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3-Pointer: May 30, 2014

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May 30, 2014
3-Pointer, Basketball, NBA
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lance-stephenson-lebron-james-blow-ear

How do you solve a problem like Lance Stephenson? The third-year man has averaged a career-high 13.9 points per game for Indiana this year, though he has struggled mightily in the last two games. The bigger story which has emerged, however, is what pundits call his “antics” and what the Internet simply dubs “trolling.” In Game 5, Stephenson used a questionable defensive tactic by blowing into the ear of LeBron James, who was in the midst of a foul-troubled, seven-point game which was the worst of his playoff career. Elsewhere, Russell Westbrook is the crux of the Thunder discussion, as he has pretty much been since the James Harden trade, and Gregg Popovich doesn’t want to hear any more of your stupid, stock interview questions.

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3-Pointer: May 25, 2014

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May 25, 2014
3-Pointer, Basketball, NBA
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Courtesy of Sports Illustrated

Courtesy of Sports Illustrated

Paul George, the do-everything swingman whose up-and-down season has mirrored the fortunes of his Indiana Pacers team, suffered a concussion in Game 2 against the Miami Heat. Early pessimists pinned him as missing the rest of the series, but now it appears as though he will be ready to play Game 3 on Saturday night in Miami. Elsewhere, Serge Ibaka is facing a similar situation, and his return couldn’t come soon enough for the Oklahoma City Thunder, who face an 0-2 deficit to the all-conquering San Antonio machine. Also, Cleveland wins the draft lottery for the third time in the last four years, prompting questions of faith and critical reason in the city by the lake.

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