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Cleaning Up the Mess 2015: Week 4

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September 28, 2015
College Football
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(Via Getty Images)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: Bret Bielema really does not care for that cheese dip that you made even though he unknowingly spilled it all over the front of his shirt. Cal shows up to the party with both brilliant Nobel prize thesis and a case of wine. Utah decided it would be funny to bring a cake just to smash it in Oregon’s face before walking off and saying, “O’Doyle Rules!” Also, Butch Jones’ maxillofacial surgery requires that you cut up his food before he eats so he doesn’t choke on it.

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TV Party 2015: Week 4

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September 23, 2015
College Football, Sports
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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world

This week: If last week was a corporate branded tailgate, this week is sinister in that the corporations have now rescinded their feast. So long, plentiful beer and wings! Hello, Notre Dame-UMASS! Get on up here, Southern vs. Georgia! Also, here’s South Carolina vs. UCF which is basically a chicken wing with the tiniest shred of meat hanging to it.

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Cleaning Up the Mess 2015: Week 2

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September 14, 2015
College Football
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(Via Mike Carter – USAToday Sports)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: Bret Bielema talks a whole lot of mess about your floor plan then learns that his house is on fire. Notre Dame struggled to take the lid off the pickle jar and dropped it in the floor again (it’s okay, grandpa. You just sit on the couch and watch more TV, ok?). Oklahoma beats a 14-year old at Battleship and proceeds to flip over the game board with it’s middle finger.

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TV Party 2015: Week 2

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September 11, 2015
College Football, Sports
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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world.

This week: Everything is very dire. There are probably, like, four games worth watching. All of the rest could be potential something or other. Between the hours of 12-6, you should just do something nice with your day and not watch the Battle for the Cy-Hawk Trophy. Also, you might want to save your energy for this nice, young man. 

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Cleaning Up the Mess: Week 14

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December 2, 2014
College Football
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(Via Thomas Graning/AP)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: the house has been destroyed. These past few weeks have toppled to a spot where we shared some laughs, tears, and daydreams about Mississippi State in the playoff. The house is now condemned and will hopefully be restored before the beginning of next season. Maybe we can go to your friend’s house to watch the bowl games and TALK ABOUT FORDHAM FOOTBALL.

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TV Party: Week 10

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October 29, 2014
College Football
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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world.

This week: Halloween is on a Friday so it’s more than likely that you might be a little hungover from the night before. Tough cookie, man. We’re playing Run the Jewels 2 until no one else can stand it anymore. At maximum volume. With air guitar. Go get some aspirin and park your rear in a chair. This is going to be a looooooong Saturday.

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Cleaning Up the Mess: Week 9

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October 26, 2014
College Football
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(Via Crystal LoGiudice/USA Today Sports)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: we were just about to serve the homemade apple turnovers when LSU barged in the door with a vat of gumbo. After telling people to “hush”, the uninvited house guest in purple and gold shoved heaping portions of the stew in front of the already full house guests. Then, LSU sat on the couch and changed the channel to a terrible movie about Edie Sedgwick called Ciao! Manhattan. It was better than making it through another hour of Christopher Cross.

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Selecting the College Football Playoff: 1st Edition

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October 23, 2014
College Football
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(Via ESPN)

The College Football Playoff selection committee will meet for the first time after Week 9. The committee is responsible for selecting a Top 25 each week that reflects the best teams in the country. The Top Four of the 25 picks represent the best four teams in a given week and the picks for the college football playoff should the playoff be held the day after the picks are made. No one at Tuesdays with Horry is on the selection committee but that won’t stop us from having a little fun. 

Through eight weeks of college football action, we head into Week 9 with a much more solidified field of candidates for the first ever playoff. Ole Miss stayed dominant by holding Tennessee to zero rushing yards. Alabama put Texas A&M in a headlock for four quarters. Florida State continues it’s win streak. And the fourth seed pick is a controversy in the making. Here are the picks as we head into Week 9:

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TV Party: Week 9

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October 22, 2014
College Football
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Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world.

This week: our football Saturday will be marked by chicken salad finger sandwiches, white wine, and pumpkin spiced anything and everything, as well as some soft rock*. No, not “that” tape of soft rock. CVS Bangers is strictly reserved for weekends unlike this one. We just want to entertain in a polite manner (and cry immensely while trying to pretend this is what we want to do). 

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Cleaning Up the Mess: Week 8

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October 20, 2014
College Football
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(Via Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: “Do you remember that one time we went cow tipping over at the Stewart Farm and that one cow bucked you right in face?” “Yeah, man. That hurt like hell.” “Or the time when we was out at that party and-and-and the cops came to shut it down and everybody ran out the back door and you fell into a pile of dog poo?” “Yeah, man. I had to take like three showers when I finally made it home.” “Hahaha, yeah. And, what about the time you tried hitting on that girl and she just ended up pouring a drink on you? Hahaha.” (We just had to run into Nostalgia this weekend. We’re never leaving the house again.) 

For a brief moment, it seemed like the world was thrust back to 2012. Everett Golson threw a perfect pass to receiver Corey Robinson on a slant route for a touchdown with 13 seconds remaining. The score read 33-31. Notre Dame would be back in the conversation as one of the most elite teams within the crazed sport of college football. In a flash of yellow, that possibility disappeared.

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