Monthly Archives: October 2015


I was wrong about a lot of things last week.

I was wrong in thinking that Jimmy Clausen would start for the Bears. To be fair, it wasn’t announced that Jay Cutler was ready to go until like ten minutes before kickoff, causing the Raiders to lose their status as road favorites after the line moved five points. I was pretty wrong in this case. Read More

Welcome to TV Party, a weekly segment where we preview ten of the week’s most exciting match-ups in college football so you know when to grab some beer and ignore the outside world. 

This week: We are watching some games strictly for the schadenfreude. Some of these things have no real merit beyond that. Also, we are going to strap you down and make you watch Michigan-Northwestern via A Clockwork Orange because your soul needs to be cleansed in the purity of Midwestern passive aggression.

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On Saturday night, for the first time since 1977, when Joe Montana led the soon-to-be national champion Fighting Irish to a 21-17 victory, Notre Dame visited Clemson in Death Valley. Because of Hurricane Joaquin, South Carolina Governor (and Clemson alum) Nikki Haley warned fans to avoid attending the game unless absolutely necessary. With playoff hopes in the balance for both teams, a muddy slugfest was all but inevitable. For all intents and purposes, this was to be the biggest college football game of the season thus far.

They weren’t going to let a little bit of rain stop them from enjoying themselves. Neither was I.

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(Via Gary McCullough/AP)

Cleaning Up the Mess is here to make sense of what just happened at your weekend-long television party. Who put Goldfish in the blender? And why is the thermostat on 42?

This week: Gary Patterson wanted to let Texas know that they’ve made better chicken salad with just salt, pepper and chopped tofurkey. Ohio State showed up to the party and nearly dropped that shiny, highfalutin ice sculpture they made. Alabama brought over some cake with Georgia’s name on it only to shove it in their faces moments later. And, Al Golden wants to know why Map Quest gave him directions to Cincinnati. Everyone promptly asked Golden afterwards why he’s still using Map Quest. 

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Oh man let’s keep this train rolling.

We kept it up with another 3-2 week against the spread and were two minutes away from the Colts covering to make it a 4-1 day. But there’s still work to be done. My awful showing Week 1 left us in a hole that we’re still digging out of, but we’re just one more positive week away from a winning record and a modicum of respect from the greater Internet gambling public.

Most importantly, my picks have caught up with Chance the Gambler. Read More